Home again....

We're home again.  We got to spend Easter with our church family.  It was so good to be back.  We were going to spend the day with my parents.  However, that is dependent upon the weather.  Yesterday it was sunny and 70 degrees.  We figured we could be outside at my parents place.  Unfortunately, the weather is rainy today,  so we're not able to go.  We'll have an empty Easter egg hunt here at home.  It's different, but good. 

Happy Easter!

Battle of the Sweet tooth

Ok, I'll admit it.  I have a terrible sweet tooth.  I think I could eat candy or sweets practically at any time of the day.  Today, they called over the loud speaker that the coffee cart was available for the next ten minutes.  They give free coffee to the parents every so often.  Today I went down, and they had two big boxes of fancy donuts, chocolate covered marshmellows, and robin eggs!  Oh my.  I wanted a little of each!  Then, I remembered that back at the room were two kids that have been newly dignosed with diabetes.  It would be so mean of me to bring in all the treats.  Normally, I would bring a little treat back for the kids to eat too.  However, if I do that now, that means they get another poke and shot.  Treats just aren't worth extra pokes anymore.  So I skipped all the sweets, got a cup of coffee and two hotwheels.  I came back to the room with a clear conscience and happy kids.  This adjustment is so hard for the kids, and just a little bit hard for me.  I wonder how long it takes to get rid of a sweet tooth?

I was looking at a friend's blog post and saw her signature after each post.  I thought it looked pretty cool, so I thought I would make one for my blog too.  Here it is:

What do you think?  :-)

Sunny Outlook...

We just got a surprise package here at the hospital! A secret somebody got us an adorable little owl. It's solar powered and shakes it's head back and forth. It is a reminder to us that, No, we shouldn't worry about tomorrow, but have a "sunny outlook" (the name of the owl) and let God take care of it all. :-)

Now every time I start to get overwhelmed, I look at the little owl who is constantly telling me "No!".  I have to smile and give it back to God.  

I don't have a camera here at the hospital, but I'll try to post a picture later.

 

Intentional Joy

This year has not proven to be the best year.  We started the year in the hospital with Josiah and Christalin's Cystic Fibrosis acting up.  While we were in the hospital, I got notice that my dad's cancer was back.  In February, our whole family got the flu.  We were sick for the whole month.  March was a  laid back month, as we were still trying to recover.  Then in April, we went in for a fasting glucose test.  Unfortunately, both Christalin and Josiah tested postive for diabetes.  In my eyes, this was one of the worst things that could happen.  Both Josiah and Christalin have always had major needle anxiety.  They do not deal with them very well.  We have had the Child Life Specialists help them through many a blood draw and dressing change.  Our hospital room has always been a safe place.  Now it is not.

Now they have to get poked on their fingers at least five times a day.  They have to get insulin shots at least four times a day.  I have to administer them all.  The moans from my son, and the fear in my daughter's eyes as I come near them, is enough to break your heart.  I don't understand why they had to have diabetes.  It seems overwhelming.  It turns out that Christalin has Cystic Fibrosis related diabetes, whereas Josiah has Diabetes Type 1.  With Josiah having Type 1, it means it is an auto-immune disorder, which can lead to other auto-immune diseases such as thyroid problems and Celiac disease.  Fortunately, the thyroid tests have come back negative.  Unfortunately, the Celiac tests were not sent to the lab, due to an oversight.  They just turned them in yesterday.  It will take two weeks for the results to come back.  I am still praying that they come back negative.  Honestly, Josiah has enough on his plate right now.

Hopefully we will all be able to go home tomorrow.  They have approved Christalin, but have not approved Josiah.  I told them that they need to go home together, as I don't have anyone at home to take care of Christalin's diabetes management while Mike is at work.  We'll see what happens.

My word for the year is "Intentional Joy".  I wish I hadn't picked that word.  I am having a hard time finding joy in these circumstances.  There is never going to be an end of the pokes and shots.  This is their life.  Both of my children want to be missionaries.  This will make it all the more harder for them.  I know God is in control, but it is so hard right now.

Help for the Heaviness

My heart has been so heavy lately  The state of our country, physical ailments of love ones and friends broken marriages.... the list goes on and on.  How do I lift my head above the torrential heaviness?  I drive down the freeway and look at all the lonely people.  Every one of them in a hurry to get somewhere, but only a few with a real destination.  Most people just look at the here and now and forget about eternity.  They seem so blind.  I want to shout out, "Wake up!"  Instead, I use my frequent trips to Seattle for prayer drives.  I pray for all the lonely people looking for something to fill the void.  I pray that their eyes would be opened to the only One who will fill the void.  My heart is still heavy, but God is still in control.  When I lift my eyes to the Lord and lose myself in praise of Him, everything else fades away.  Why am I surprised when the heaviness is lifted?  Darkness and light cannot be together.  Yes, our old world is in  mess.  However, God is still God.  He is in control.  I need to rest in that.

A great pizza story!

Steve Lambert, publisher of the Five in a Row curriculum shared this story on the boards. It blessed me so I really wanted to share it with you all. Enjoy!
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A woman got up in church about 30 years ago at a midweek service and wanted to give a testimony. Now this woman was NOT emotionally stable for any variety of reasons and I half cringed when she stood up.

Sure enough, she told how last Friday night she and a girl friend had been so broke. They were just sitting in the parking lot of their apartment complex in her car talking and praying. It was past midnight on a hot summer night. Their windows were rolled down and as they prayed they began to pray for a pizza. They asked God to just send them a pizza; like manna from heaven. They poured out their hearts earnestly and how they had absolutely NO money but really wanted a pizza. Suddenly a large, warm, fresh pepperoni pizza in a box came floating in the driver's side window and slid to a stop on the dash.



Oh groan. Come ON!! Just how GULLIBLE do you think we are? A few people applauded nervously. Most just stared at the floor- me included. SO embarrassing!!

About 2 or 3 years later I was talking with a friend. We were comparing notes about ministry, jobs, tentmaking, etc. He mentioned that he had even worked as a pizza delivery driver for a few months several years earlier.

I commented that it must have been a weird job.

He agreed, saying, "I was robbed, beaten, not tipped, etc. I barely covered the cost of gas on some nights. And we got pranked from time to time too. Like one Friday night about 11:30 a guy called in an order for 12 large pizzas to go. He never showed up even though I had to wait till past closing time for him. The boss gave up and finally let us go about 12:15. He gave each of us several pizzas from the bogus order to take home."

He continued... "It was kind of fun though. Do you remember "so-and-so" (insert the woman's name who had given the 'pizza testimony' several years earlier.) At the time she lived in the same apartment complex as I did. I got home about 12:30 and I saw she and a friend sitting in their car talking with the windows rolled down. I thought it would be fun to prank them- and bless them at the same time, so I crept up between the parked cars and then kind of SAILED a large pepperoni in her window like a Frisbie. It went right under her nose and slid to a stop on her dash! So that was kind of fun!"



I responded, "Um.... did she ever see you or know you were there?"

"Nope. I crept up and she was so excited about the pizza she never even bothered to look around and see where it came from and I got away scott free. It was a hoot!!"



Moral: I REPENT GOD! Forgive my UNBELIEF!! I am a cynic and a doubter. Please, please forgive me!!

I've NEVER forgotten that story. Even the most IMPOSSIBLE testimonies are possible with God!!

Sigh,

Steve __________________
Publisher
Five in a Row

Living in a Fishbowl....

So, I'm still here at Children's with Josiah. It is day16. Christalin went home a couple of days ago.

I had been trying to call my mom for a couple of weeks and haven't gotten an answer. Well, I finally got a hold of my dad. The news is not good. His cancer is back. They can't operate. They are giving him three months.

How can I deal with this information? I'm trying to be so strong for my kids. Nurses and doctors are coming in all day long, so I can't cry. It is a fishbowl here. I went to the chapel to cry and pray. I was alone and it felt good to have time to pray and cry. All too soon, someone put their hand on my shoulder. They were starting a meeting. I just want to be alone, so I left. I'm feeling like a freak trying not to cry. Where can I be alone? I went up to the 5th floor and down a seldom used hallway. I stood facing the corner and cried. People still came through the hallway so it wasn't private either. My heart hurts. Because of my kids MRSA I wont be able to hug my dad, or even touch him. Now I wont ever be able to again. How sad is that? He is in so much pain. I don't want him to suffer. But I want my daddy. I don't want to say goodbye already.

Well, here comes another therapist. Time to put my happy mask on and choke back the tears. That's what mama's do best right?